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theatre showreel 2023 Works featuring in this video in order of appearance: Crispr by Davy Pieters L'Extase by Keith Albert Tedesco Island Dance by Jean Paul Attard Honey, I'm talking about Devotion by Fabian Santarciel de la Quintana

⬅ Do you want to be a professional artist? Yes Are you sure? No Why not? Because saying yes is an automatic response. It has been ever since I can remember. I soon finish my second bachelor in theatre. I am 26. What follows logically? Me utilising the skills I learnt and practiced in both educations. Doing so would generate my main source of income. I would devote a lot of time and energy to bring creations to life. Through performing and creating I would be able to say I make money as an artist. [I’m an artist: this gives many outputs. For the scope of this very serious document: one of the residual outputs is that I can eat and play and buy nice shoes and give to charity and travel and pay my rent because I am an artist.] How would you not want to say I make money by being an artist? It’s not that I don’t want it. It’s that I don’t know why I want it. Why I choose this path. Why I have chosen this path ever since I can remember. I take it for granted. I don’t like for granted. Ok. Let’s not do for-granted. Why have you chosen this path and perhaps even continue to choose it? Theatre has run throughout my entire life; I’ve been drawn to it, pulled towards it. It has always been A BIG DOOR OF ALLOWING. I wanted to place myself in this place of being allowed to try, explore, say obscenities, kiss if I wanted to, rage if I wanted to, throw paint if I wanted to, spit-fire if I wanted to, not make sense if I wanted to, dance if wanted to, EVEN around naked bodies if I wanted to! I was allowed to experience joy shamelessly, gape at bodies without being frowned upon, disrupt symbols, be with others, go to after show parties, make mistakes. In the theatre I often, not always, felt held, free, sexual, ugly, less predictable, serious, soulful, funny, sensual, ridiculous, empowered, alive, and sometimes I was even asked to sing!! In essence, I could play. I have played alone with another with others with MANY others. and even with imaginary others who I would not dare ask join me in the playing field fearing a no, a laugh or having to explain too much. So I imagined them there and danced with them. Theatre is/was always a way to connect with my capacity to play. To let loose. To imagine. But I was also scared of imagining, or staying in the theatre for too long as in society a different reality awaited me. A place where people are drowning in boats cause no one really cares about saving them. I am very existentialist Very. Too much for my own good sometimes.. So why theatre and play despite this pain? In our family, neighbourhoods, village, country, world? Because that is my gift. It’s what I do best. It’s what I have to give to myself, to you and the world. It’s what I can contribute in this exchange we are all part of. It is the only space where I can concentrate and share ideas and tell very intimate stories, and move in ways I have not moved before and ask each other to move in different ways. It’s where I feel free and connected and also very disconnected and connected again and disconnected again Life is meant to be free and playful and enjoyable. Even though pain is also part of life, play can help us navigate through. Yes, this is what I want to do. Yes. This is also my gift. I make Art! I am a performer, I am an artist, I am a theatre maker. I am also a singer and songwriter I photographer (with my phone Xiaomi) and some kind of musician (the undisciplined kind!) I am also a writer. I am a trickster who shows you something first and that another in opposition, I am also a community artist because I care about the community a lot. I am also a family artist, A family artist? Is that a thing? I don’t know but I love to bring the gift of art not only in artistic spaces but wherever it is needed. Like singing at a funeral. I just sang a song I wrote at a funeral and it made me happy. I think it made others happy too. I could bring some joy in places of pain. Not with the aim of changing the situation I find that what blocks or disturbs my process or progress is when I get some idea that my art can completely change things. I want to be humble. A smile is enough. Some fun for an hour is enough. Good enough! I can also go where there is joy already! JOY MULTIPLIED. As an artist, what I can do is share my gift with others. I have been very happy when others have shared theirs with me. A scarf, a painting, their knowledge of excel of which I have none, their cooking, their hairdressing skills, their touch, their silence, How great to be part of this exchange. I am part of this too. Sometimes I have to do admin to share my gift, to plan, leap in the unknown, try, fail, try again, laugh at my mistakes, have a break, pause, do something else, try something new, yes I can! What about your need to have a part-time job unrelated to art? I often think I might want to be a waitress for some time after I graduate. It feels a bit like I want to hide instead of making myself visible after I graduate (as is encouraged). I feel quite tired if I am honest. I feel like I need a break after 4 years. I enjoyed them very much but after four beautiful and FULL years of knowledge there is now some sensation of IMMEDIATE LAUNCH. Like I am a rocket or something. Well, what if I want to take a pause To go for a walk somewhere? To do the pilgrimage of the santiago de compostela? To be a waitress for some time? Why should my part time job be as related to my art as possible? Maybe I want to do something that demands less of me as a contrast to Art. I feel bad writing this I must say. I feel like I am letting myself down and that I am not using my full creative potential. Well you know what, sometimes, fuck that also. I want to find a way to do theatre and art in a relaxed way. In a way that I really enjoy. This year I did the solo ‘the disappearance act’ which was such a beautiful enriching process. I did it for myself, nothing much mattered more than this. I am not required to save the world with my art or creativity. My art doesn’t have to be original, in other words; it also doesn’t have to be important. This might seem obvious but sometimes in the process this clarity disappears and I enter a very grey cloud where all these things start to haunt me. It’s much better if I create in order to entertain myself or if the subject matter is darker and more serious (as it sometimes is with me let’s be honest here) I would prefer that I make that to save or relieve myself of some great psychic burden that has been following me! Or in order to make sense of my own journey and my own emotional confusion. To figure myself out! Or just to play cause I am bored! If in the process, though, it helps other people figure themselves out too, or if it inspires them in some way or other — PARFAIT!— but that was never my intention.

Acerca de Ruth Borg twieldet Malta fl-1994. Hija produttur u interpretu tat-teatru li jaħdem prinċipalment fit-teatru, fil-prestazzjoni u fil-films. Kultant tikteb ukoll. Il-faxxinu ewlieni tagħha bħala kreatur huwa l-ħajja tagħna ta ’kuljum, il-korpi, l-emozzjonijiet u dak kollu li hemm sottoespost jew imrażżan hemmhekk. Allura tista 'ssibha toħloq u twettaq fi kċina, doċċa, tojlit jew f'xi kamra tal-ħajja mock-up. Ix-xogħol tagħha huwa spiss ikkaratterizzat minn stampi qawwija u preżenza ta 'titqib li spiss iwitti t-triq għal fiżiċità tregħid. Ruth wettqet lokalment u internazzjonalment u hija dejjem kurjuża għal pajsaġġi artistiċi ġodda. Fl-2015 iggradwat bi BA (Hons) fl-Istudji tat-Teatru mill-Università ta ’Malta u f’Lulju 2021 iggradwa b’BA fil-Mime mill-Università ta’ l-Arti f’Amsterdam. Full CV (*pdf)

⬅ Pa meta ikkwitajt hekk? ​ Naf li mintix kwiet. Naf li għandek ħafna xi tghid. Naf li l-mummy tgħid ħafna u ma tħallikx tfendi waħda. Naf li timmisjani Naf li tħobbni Naf li tħobbni iktar mill-baħar u naħseb anke minn ħuti Naf li mhux suppost ngħid hekk Naf li jien nghid hafna affarijiet li mhux suppost nghid Naf li inti tiehu gost tismaghhom Naf li tiehu gost meta nghid affarijiet li mhux suppost nghid u meta nizboh xaghri roza u meta nghid kliem bhal alazobbi u il-liba Naf li li thobbni Taf li nhobbok Naf ukoll li qalbi tugghani gieli wara li niltaqghu jien u int Ghax meta nisimghek tkanta strangers in the night ta’ Frank Sinatra ma tkunx kwiet. Tkun mixghul Tkun int Tkun ikhal U meta dak jitlaq u terga’ tikkwieta iggennini pa. Qed tisimgħu leħni irrabjat pa? Irrabjata għax ma nistax nifhem pa. Irrabjata għalik talli sawwatt lili, lil huti u lil mama u irrabjata għan-nannu li sawwat lilek u għal bużnannu li sawwat lilu. Irrabjata għax jien parti minn dir-rabja ġenerazzjonali. Irrabjata talli tintefa’ kwiet fuq is-sufan u talli toqgħod fuq il-computer siegħat twal. Irrabjata talli kellek toqtol kull naħa ħajja tieghek innifsek biex issir BLATA għal familja. Issir BLATA u ssalva. Issir missieri iehor li sar blata muta u ma jidhirx. Irrabjata talli il-mamà qalbitielek u ġennitlek mohhok. Irrabjata talli int wassalta fi stat li kellha taqlibielek daqs kemm kellha bzonn affezjoni mingħand xi ħadd min ikun. Talli inti kont tiswied, tirrabja u terfa’ idejk. Irrabjata talli intom it-tnejn qatt ma ġejtu flimkien Irrabjata talli bqajtu flimkien f’isem tal-missier u l-iben u l-ispirtu s-santu. Irrabjata talli tibqa’ sostni li int taf x’inhi l-imħabba u talli titkellem b’mod assolut Nirrabja għax ma nifhimx. U fl-istess ħin qed tinduna kif kull meta niġi lura minn belt ir-roti inkun irrid ngħannqek il hin kollu kull sekonda kull minuta Inkun irrid immissek pa Inkun irrid immissek b’liktar materjali teneri li jezistu fid-dinja pa Bil-bellus Naf li inti raġel tajjeb pa Naf li inti għamilt minn kollox Naf li weġġajt hafna pa Naf li tbagħalt għal familja pa Mela la naf kollox ghala qed niktiblek pa? Irrid konverzazzjoni u nibqa’ nikteb il-monologi. Nibża minn x’se tgħidli lura Mhux għax se jkun falz jew irrabjat Le. Naf li twieġeb bi ftuħ u onestà. Nibża biss li nkun irrid iktar u iktar u iktar. U naf li inti jaf tgħidli stop U dik l-istop Ma nkunx irrid nismagħha Għax naf dan kollu fl-istess hin ma naf xejn fuqek pa Jafek xi ħadd lilek pa? L-istorja tommi nista’ ngħida ta’ wara quddiem in out and shake it all about Fuqek naf ukoll stejjer pa. Naf fuq meta waqajt mill-gallerija u qsamt rasek u meta tlaqt mill-Malta Rubber u meta missierek kien joħorġok miegħu. Imma ma nafekx veru pa. Ma nafx in-naħat mhux ċensurati tiegħek pa Int iċċensurat ħafna pa. Iċċensurat minn Alla, missierek u minnek stess. Min int pa Kif tkun meta tkun qed tħossok waħdek? Kif tkun meta tkun qed tħossok imbeżża’? Kif tkun meta l-mummy taqbad tgħajjrek ma tieqafx? Kif kont tkun wara li kont isawwatna? Nibza’ Jien u nikteb qed nibza Nibza’ minn saħħti. Saħħa ta’ mara ġejja lura għax tħobb u trid tisma’ Ghalfejn nitakarni daqsekk imbezza’ minnek pa u ghalfejn issa sirt narak qisek pupu zghir li irrid nghannqu? Kif jistaw jezistu dawn l-affarijiet opposti hekk f’daqqa pa? Ghalfejn ma naccettax daż-żewġ oopposti fik meta fija hemm elf wiehed? U ghala nibza daqsekk li tmut pa? Ghala nibza iktar ma jghaddu il-jiem li tmut u ma nkun nista’ nghidlek dal-kliem? Ghalfejn nista nghidu lid-dinja u mhux lilek bilqieghda go salott? Pa ghala qed nghid dal-kliem lilek u mhux lid-dinja pa? Ghala qed nghidu lilek pa? Ghala mhux qed nghidu lin-nannu u buznannu u buz buz buz nanu li kull darba li ma kienux jafu jrazznu it-tfal splodew hekk? Ghala missierek kien idahhalek wiccek gos-soppa talli qadt iteftef fiha? Int tifel zghir b’ghajnejh zoroq imqareb li probabbli kull ma ried naqa chips. Pa kif tkun papa? Pa kif tkun mama? Pa temmen li nhobbok pa? Temmen li nhobbok kompletament anke jekk qed nikteb dan kollu. Temmen li nikteb dan kollu ghax nemmen li b’xi mod dan jista’ jqarribna lejn xulxin. Naf li iebes tisma’ dan kollu pa. Naf li mhux facli. Ma nghidulekx biex inweggak nghidulek ghax irrid li nitkellmu u ma nistax inkellmek jekk nibqa’ nilghaba ta’ tifla hdejk. Irrid inkun bintek li issa saret mara. Jien mara. Jien mara missieri. (pa irrid infiequ pa!)

⬅ Fuck you dear. Fuck your seriousness, and your judgment that I am chaotic. Fuck your trying to ask me: “why are you doing this?” “why do you keep dropping stuff on the floor?” “please - organize yourself.” “your bag is open again.” “that’s not what you said fifteen minutes ago.” Yes babe. Watch me drop everything on the goddamn floor. Try it. Feel how good this is. Fuck you dear. I don’t like saying fuck you much these days. I used to say it much more often, I’ll be honest. Sure feels nice to say fuck you sometimes. Fuck you dear. Especially your autopilot smiles. ​ But forgive me too. You do say things so nicely to me. Gentle. It’s heartwarming. I had this warmth only once before in my life. Or twice. Maybe more. But not more than five. And even so, how you warm me up ,is the first time of course. Cause there is one of you. You are you. You never judge me - even if you do, it’s only a natural bit. You do not judge and cut like a knife. Only sometimes. Thank you for that. That's fucking rare is what it is. ​ The judgment is mostly mine. And so it has always been. As I received it from the generations before me. So I say fuck you to the one judging me in my head and not to you of course. I hope you know that. Really. You say things so kindly. Makes me change. Makes me embody the change. Makes me better. Makes me calmer, More collected. Makes my quotidian life sounding less like top forty music on the radio. Makes me believe I can. Makes me see I can learn other ways. But fuck dear, I use this as an entrance today. Allow me please. Cause, I miss being a rebel. I miss allowing this internal riot to surface. Miss my leather jacket and my studs. Recently I found the leather coat your ex gave you. Put it on. Suits me. Suits you too. Suits us. Yes dear leather suits us, doesn’t it? I have become more fur coat in the past years. More caring. Softer. Feels good. Leather is nice too. Makes me feel hot in another way. In a fuck you way. Fuck it’s nice to say fuck you. To accuse you. To point my finger at you. To blame you for all the things I keep doing that irritate me too. I don’t like to be reminded of them too often. It’s not sexy. I want to be sexy. Can you tell me I am sexy? Why do I care so much if you think I am sexy? Am I sexy? Why do I want so much to feel sexy? Do you feel sexy darling? When do you feel sexy? I am not sure about that one. I know you feel sexy in bed but that’s to be expected? Who makes you feel sexy other than me? Beyonce? How can we feel more sexy together? Shall we get Beyonce at our place for drinks? We talk too much about work and money these days and the groceries and the stores and the cat. It’s ok we must talk about this too. I think we talk about all this very beautifully. We are both smart. We can be silent too which I value. Had no clue I could live with someone and that it can still be so incredibly beautiful and alive. Is this confusing? Am I too much? Intense? Too often on defense? Are you offended? It’s ok if you are. Know that this this is just some rebellion so I can continue my day with less steam. But I do want to be sexy with you. Not have sex I said. Feel sexy. Sensuous and alive. Go slower. We can have sex too later. With music. But first I want to touch you and you to touch me. To be myself with you so you can see how shy I actually am of you. Of you being sexy. I am shy to touch you to look at you really. I am shy you might say you don’t feel like it, especially when you look sexy. I am not always shy though. Like now - feeling safe behind my screen. I feel very sexy and ready and true. And beautiful. And a woman not a child. A woman who just wants to enter you again and again in new ways. To receive you with open limbs, wounds, mouth. Cause I love you. I love you like I have never loved before. I am the woman who loves you. Kiss me, please. Not because I am asking you but because you want to. I want you to desire me. I want myself to stop wanting you to desire me so much. I want your sexual validation. Can I give this immensity to myself? Wow how great that would be to give this sensuality and sexuality to myself To stop demanding it from you. To masturbate more. To masturbate more. Why are we not taught mastrubation in school? Why do I want to learn everything at school? Why don’t I just go find out for myself. GO FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF WOMAN. USE YOUR FINGERS. MAKE THEM JUICY THEM DRIPPY WITH YOUR OWN OR WITH SOME HELP. Don’t shout at me bitch. This is nice. I like writing like this. I like this voice. I like that this is allowed, at least, here.